A mountain of mashed potatoes the size of YOUR HEAD
If I make mashed potatoes buttery and smooth enough, I can suck them between my front-teeth like some kind of filter-feeding whale. Whatever. It works.
The only problem is the dreaded:
Mashstash
See, getting stuff all over the front of your mouth is something you usually don’t notice. You sort of lick your lips or schmuggle them together and presto – the food is gone! When your jaw is wired shut, you can’t lick your lips. In fact you have to eat with a roll of paper towels handy so that when your teeth get blocked by a chunk that’s too big to fit through, you can huff it out into the paper and blot the potatoes off of everything that now has potatoes on it.
I always wanted a desktop covered with mashed potatoes.
My Mouth Wired Shut 
I could think of far worse things to be on that stache! I know my dogs would approve as they keep food on their face to enjoy a meal throughout the day!
It is true. My dogs would have been very happy indeed to help me with any tiny lost particle of buttery mashed potatoes.